Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Wow, yesterday sucked!!!

I can now understand it when people say you get good day's and bad day's.. yesterday was obviously a bad day!!! I have never felt so low in my life... I stared straight into a void, not only my future but the present and more concerning was my inner self was empty.. nothing... I thought all the day's upto yesterday had been bad but it was nothing compared to that!! Thankfully I have a pair of furry critters living outside my back door that are still a massive link to Hayley and I cannot and WILL not let them down... I know you don't realise it guy's but you are my salvation....
People have told me it will start to fade.. just wondering how long it will be before it starts? I'm not trying to move on from Hayley, just trying to move forward so that I can become that chap again that she was so proud of, I certainly don't feel it at the moment!!!
Jeez.. this is the hardest battle I have ever had to fight, i thought my world was crumbling when i got diagnosed with chronic Glaucoma aged 40, but with Hayley's love the thought that I might lose my site was bearable.. Just!! now without her support all my fears are re-emerging and I know I have to grab my future with both hands.. for both of us!!! love you so so much Hayley, this is going to be hard but I will endeavour to make you proud, wherever you are XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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