Just had a moment of clarity, not sure if it is relevant or not!! For nearly 10 years I have been the rock that had supported Hayley, after her Mum passed away and she slipped into depression, I was there for her.. I worked all the hours i could to keep the house from going and spent as much time as possible with Hayley to keep her from sinking deeper, then with the change of shift and the new found confidence Hayley seem to gain from having me home in the evenings she got herself her last job, one which she loved. For the next 5 years I supported Hayley and kept the whole house situation from collapsing, it took massive effort and continual financial juggling for me to achieve this, BUT throughout this whole time I was available to Hayley 24/7 if she needed to talk, a hug a small treat like a trip out etc, I never once refused Hayley anything I thought would help her forward.
We had finally turned that corner, our finances though far from sorted were on the mend.. we were looking forward with hope.. I have now lost that massive purpose that I had in my life and I cannot cope with the void.. I will try and fill it but time is the only healer here.. I miss you so much Hayley.. xxxxx