Tired again!

 Yesterday was a grim day, caught me totally by surprise and completely unaware! Saturday was a good day and I got a fair bit of gardening done and then too a friends 60th party which was most enjoyable including my terrible dad dancing with Poppy 🤣 but I awoke yesterday feeling really sad and not a little tired! Tried my hardest to make it a positive day but it was an uphill battle and hands up I know I drank too much which I really don’t think helps my mental health one bit so this week I’m going to try and detox with no alcohol all week, wish me luck!

Today isn’t shaping up to be a very good day as the rain is sheeting it down outside and i could happily disappear into a bottle of whiskey and back to bed but I won’t! I will drag myself into the shower and head off to work just like I always do…

Really struggling!

 I’ve been a little quiet as I have been trying to be positive and that includes writing nothing negative down but today I’m struggling big time! Trying to keep all my balls in the air and failing! I walked in the woods and I cried and I’m crying again now!!

 Work is a real nightmare at the moment, it isn’t the job but the effects of gross mismanagement that has ruined a once world beating company!! I’m not sure there is way back from this!!

I’m really not sure how much more of this my mental health can take but I only have 7 years left and I really do not wish to start again but I may well have to!! 

And today I’m missing my old hound Harvey massively! Both dogs have been complete arses and I’m really missing old Harv’s laidback and chilled personality!! Nothing that isn’t repairable has happened but today I could quite happily be a non dog owner!!

Coupled to this I have a funeral on thursday for a friend who departed suddenly and prematurely at only 58! Neil was a special guy, larger than life and always on the go and would take you along in his slipstream!! Really not looking forwards to thursday!!!