Tuesday, 26 February 2013

haven't posted for a few day's as there hasn't really been any point, just the same old same old!!! each day is pretty much the same as the last, wake with that numb feeling which persists until i go to sleep.. I guess I am improving as I'm not crying quite so much.. ( he said as the tears roll down his cheeks!!) and the anguish has gone.. unfortunately to be replaced by a massive feeling of being lost, rudderless.. I know i will make the other shore but how long it will take me, which direction I will go and what condition I will be in when I arrive??
I'm out and about with good mate's who are keeping me as occupied as their own lives will allow and for that I am immensely grateful, the hard part is not having Hayley here to share it with, we shared pretty much everything in our lives, if it didn't really interest us what the other was up to it didn't matter and we still shared it, after all isn't that what life and being a couple is all about?
I guess it is that loss of my confident, friend and soul mate which i find hard to reconcile.. no amount of time is ever going to mend that one.. I will just have to find the strength to carry on regardless, as one of the motto's hanging in our study say's "Keep Calm and Carry On" trying Hayley, I really am trying..xxxxx

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