Wednesday, 6 February 2013

down but not out... yet

well the day has continued to sink.. find myself in floods of tears caused it seems by anything and everything around me.. trying desperately to pull myself together, thought that it might be because I'm tired.. not sleeping that well but having a snooze this afternoon made it worse, woke up with a tearing anguish and a longing to speak to/hear/touch and smell Hayley..
They say time heals or lessens the pain.. i do hope so as I can't bare to feel like this.. how can you love someone so much that the future looks so grim without them? every thing I have been doing over the past few weeks and I mean the stuff I'm doing with friends is building up inside of me, I so want to tell Hayley all about it, to see that look of "god here we go again" as I try and describe the joy's of being a rustaholic to her.
Talking to the air just isn't the same.. I miss you so so much missus, today even more than ever...
Work have offered me the services of a Councillor, might take them up on it.. my current situation seems to have awoken my long hidden anxiety attacks.. oh the joy's of life.. roll on the brighter weather, i hate the winter with a passion, hate it even more now......

1 comment:

  1. Evening, I've come across your blog via a friend and just want to say how moved I am by your writing and the emotion you feel for Hayley. I can't not offer more than my condolences to you at this time but I do hope that your journey back to light will be kind to you, but you must remember to be kind to your self x