Sitting here in the dark just before 7am alone with the dogs. Another night where I’ve awoken feeling like I haven’t been asleep, feeling so tired at the moment! Not sure if its the tail end of a virus we think I had a couple of weeks ago or the start of another dark episode of depression slowly settling in! Personally I hope its the tail end of a virus as I’ve spoken with other parents at the school gates and they’ve had the same.
Trying my hardest to do everything to prevent the black dog slipping in, but you know I fear he is already here as the apathy, tiredness and grumpy moods are very noticeable recently! Damn I’m tired of this but counselling has finished and I’m really not happy with the thought of drugs as I’ve mentioned before my personal experience with them (both myself and Hayley) is that they just stall the inevitable!! Maybe I’m wrong and should hold my hands up and try? God knows!!
One of the things that surprises me the most is when I talk to folk around me and most are not even aware of the battles going on inside me, I’m not even sure Claire is aware of how bad it is for me at times, how hard it is just to do the most simple of things! The facade I’ve built is pretty damn convincing!!
