Hey ho forward we go!!! or not as the case may be.. sodding weather is buggering up all my plans.. I need warmth and sunshine.... god that hole that losing someone leaves in you is massive, each day i hope the empty feeling will fade just a tadge, the ache will ease just a little... I don't want the feelings to go away completely, I'm not ready for that yet but just enough for me to function on a daily basis, to be able to spend time in the workshop without everything that reminds me of Hayley reducing me to tears....
Knowing i will never hear that laugh, hear those stupid sayings she was always coming out with.. hear her happily chatting to the cat or the rabbit's is painful.. I spent a good day out with a mate on Sunday, we ventured to a swap meet in Essex, the day was superb but the returning home and not being able to show the missus what tat I had purchased took the edge off somewhat...
It's now over 2 months since my world was blown apart, time is only very slowly making progress in easing the pain, i go 2 or 3 day's without a blip then bang!!!!! something silly triggers a massive relapse.. god I miss Hayley's kindness and thoughfulness daily.. life is proving a major struggle but I will survive, I have to as I have made so many promises to so many people... even though i just want to curl up and sleep....
Fuck this is hard.. love you missus XXXXXXXXX