After the gloom and cold of the past couple of days I had really hoped for a better day today but alas its not to be!! This greyness and chill really saps any positivity i have!! I met with my councillor yesterday, my sessions are meant to have ended but the negative news regarding my prostrate cancer and my rising psa has got my anxiety climbing to almost new heights! I feel that the depression has subsided quite a bit but the void its left has been quickly filled with negative thoughts and most of them are totally irrational but try telling my mind that!! Today I could have quite happily not woken up and try as I might I can’t push past this gloom!! I really don’t ask for much from life and I expect even less but please some blue skies and warm sun, its all I need!!
Yesterday a Swedish member of the Panther owners club dropped off some parts, one of which is as rare as rocking horse poo and for the briefest of moments I was buzzing but that was sadly short lived!! Claire and Poppy have just left to meet friends in Hastings and I more than anything wish to be with them but even if I could be today I really think they are better off without this gloomy arse!!
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