So another Monday another crash!! Usual cycle but today it feels that little bit deeper.. I’m tired and I’ve had enough, life just keeps throwing shit at me!! I’m sure its all for a reason but I feel stupid not being able to understand it!! I need to do something as I cant carry on like I am because I’m sure the damage will start to be done soon to those around me..
I’ve often thought about going back on medication but I really don't feel that is the right way, 25 plus years of watching Hayley on pills and all it seemed to do was suppress the emotions until they could be contained no longer and BOOM meltdown time! Also my brief time on it for anxiety and then depression wasn't the best of times for me and i cant help but feel that unless your prepared to spend the rest of your days on pills then you will have to face your demons one day anyway so why not now!!
That being said I really would like just a brief period of calm without all of the self destructive thoughts hammering away at my head!! The slightly negative review with the cancer clinic hasn't helped and my anxiety has me blowing it well out of pre-portion but if they’ve got the diagnosis of my non aggressive cancer wrong what else might they have missed? I’m so tired of life at the moment but I’m really not ready for it to stop but man I really don’t know how to ignite that spark again!!
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