Tuesday, 29 January 2013

28th January, the scrapping of the carriage

We said our final farewells today to the body of my beloved Hayley Tonia Veness, when Hayley got inconsolable about the loss of a beloved pet, I used to say to her that the body is like a car, you climb into at the start of your journey (life) and climb out at the end when the spirit no longer needs it, burial is like the scrapping of a car at the end of it's useful life and has nothing to do with with the person/critter that once used it for their own journey, and it did use to help even if it was just a small comfort at the time.
Well today (28th) we "scrapped" the carriage (Hayley was too beautiful to have traveled by car) of Hayley, this is the letter I posted to her spirit on her facebook page:-

"Hayley. Today we are saying goodbye to your body, but I have already said goodbye to your spirit at the hospital. Today is going to be hard but I think the hardest time was seeing you pass away. The sense of loss in that moment is still etched on my mind.. I am trying to take comfort from all the positives in this situation, I am glad you collapsed at home and not alone somewhere, I am glad I was at home to get you help as quickly as i could, however fruiltless it turned out to be. I am glad I was with you for your last few day's here, I am forever grateful it was instant and you didn't know or feel a thing, I was honoured to be able to sit by your side in your last moments of life but more than that I am still honoured that you chose me to be your life partner.
I hope I told you enough what you meant to me, if I didn't then i hope by my actions, loyalty, patience and endless hug's and holding your hand showed you that you were my world.
I am starting a list of things I want to tell you, once completed I am going to burn it as you would have done a letter to Santa Claus as a kid.. I am also starting a list of places you wanted to visit that I will hopefully have the strength and courage to visit one day.
I miss you so so terribly missus but your Rabbits are being a great comfort, you would be proud of me for nursing Cookie through a chill, they are still camped happily in the kitchen, think I may have trouble evicting them!!
Please keep an eye over us and steer me if I start to head in the wrong direction.. I hope there is a spirit world and that you are at peace with all the one's you have loved both 2 and 4 legged, hope Merlin isn't too mean to Timmy!!
I am hoping that once today is past the pain will start to subside and I will start to enjoy the memories without the tears. I will do my utmost to make a success of my future Hayley though that seems so hard and pointless at this current time..
I will love you for tonight and forever...
  Until I can hold your hand again and walk on a french beach with you even if we are but shadows....
your ever loving but completely unprepared for going solo husband Shaun.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"

No comments:

Post a Comment