28th January, the scrapping of the carriage
We said our final farewells today to the body of my beloved Hayley Tonia Veness, when Hayley got inconsolable about the loss of a beloved pet, I used to say to her that the body is like a car, you climb into at the start of your journey (life) and climb out at the end when the spirit no longer needs it, burial is like the scrapping of a car at the end of it's useful life and has nothing to do with with the person/critter that once used it for their own journey, and it did use to help even if it was just a small comfort at the time.
Well today (28th) we "scrapped" the carriage (Hayley was too beautiful to have traveled by car) of Hayley, this is the letter I posted to her spirit on her facebook page:-
"Hayley. Today we are saying goodbye to your
body, but I have already said goodbye to your spirit at the hospital.
Today is going to be hard but I think the hardest time was seeing you
pass away. The sense of loss in that moment is still etched
on my mind.. I am trying to take comfort from all the positives in this
situation, I am glad you collapsed at home and not alone somewhere, I
am glad I was at home to get you help as quickly as i could, however
fruiltless it turned out to be. I am glad I was with you for your last
few day's here, I am forever grateful it was instant and you didn't know
or feel a thing, I was honoured to be able to sit by your side in your
last moments of life but more than that I am still honoured that you
chose me to be your life partner.
I hope I told you enough what you
meant to me, if I didn't then i hope by my actions, loyalty, patience
and endless hug's and holding your hand showed you that you were my
I am starting a list of things I want to tell you, once
completed I am going to burn it as you would have done a letter to Santa
Claus as a kid.. I am also starting a list of places you wanted to
visit that I will hopefully have the strength and courage to visit one
I miss you so so terribly missus but your Rabbits are being a
great comfort, you would be proud of me for nursing Cookie through a
chill, they are still camped happily in the kitchen, think I may have
trouble evicting them!!
Please keep an eye over us and steer me if I
start to head in the wrong direction.. I hope there is a spirit world
and that you are at peace with all the one's you have loved both 2 and 4
legged, hope Merlin isn't too mean to Timmy!!
I am hoping that once
today is past the pain will start to subside and I will start to enjoy
the memories without the tears. I will do my utmost to make a success of
my future Hayley though that seems so hard and pointless at this
I will love you for tonight and forever...
Until I can hold your hand again and walk on a french beach with you even if we are but shadows....
your ever loving but completely unprepared for going solo husband Shaun.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"