Life's a rollercoaster

I can only look back and realise just how good my life was before that terrible day, I never realised that even when Hayley was at her lowest and it looked like we would lose the house (which I never told Hayley about) life was still good because we had each other.. Hayley often said this saying "that no matter what life would throw at us we would get through it because we had each other" how true that was and how hard it is to face everything alone now, sure I have the most excellent friends and family around me but the one I need most is the one that is missing..
Woke this morning feeling wretched, can't shake that feeling!!! trying to get myself motivated but it sure is bloody hard to do, keep trying to get stuff done in the shed but tears keep blocking my vision!!! only thing I can handle today is time wasting on the computer.. no change there then eh missus? God i hope this pain starts to lessen soon, I need to move forward, I do not want to forget you missus but I have to be able to function properly if I am to do anything good with my life, I just wish there was some way to talk to you as I desperately need your advice...
God I'm missing you xxxxxxxxx